break your faith to pieces
by starry eyed dreamers
Summary: Ezra doesn't think that renting out a room and plastering photos, leads and suspects and people who may be in the know about A on it is creepy. And maybe that's his problem. He's ranting to a person that doesn't exist and trying to rescue someone that's already dead and he thinks that maybe he's insane. But he's okay with that if it means that Aria is safe.


**... Not sure what this is. Mainly Ezra's slightly deranged ramblings during his book writing, and has a fair amount of Ezria. Also some Ezra/Alison, you could call it. Character death at the end, but it's very vague. Also, if you think you see any inconsistencies, like Alison being referred to as dead, it's because he doesn't know everything at that point in time. **

**I don't own Pretty Little Liars.**

It wasn't supposed to happen like this.

It was all just one big coincidence, he thinks one time, trying in vain to justify his actions to himself.

But it wasn't, not really. It was all planned out and methodical. The only uncontrolled variable was _her._

_xx._

He is sitting in a bar at 4:25 when he sees her. It takes a moment, but he recognizes her. One of Alison's friends. For a second he thinks it might be Spencer, because she too has dark hair and also, a penchant for acting older than she is, but a second glance proves him wrong.

His breath catches - he didn't remember her being this beautiful.

Remember the notes, he thinks, focusing.

She's Alison's friend. Probably catty. Coy. Selfish. One of a select breed, those pretty little liars, who you would give your soul to without a second thought, only for it to never be seen again.

It's been an year, and he misses and loathes Ali's harsh judgements and dancing eyes simultaneously.

But then she starts talking, and her voice is like music and her eyes are like Jackie's and it takes him a few minutes, but he slowly starts to forget. Forget his carefully gathered notes about how she went to Iceland for a year, and how she loved classics, and how she had had a pink streak in her hair and a crush on Noel Kahn.

He forgets, until he's making out with her in a dingy bathroom and sees a glimpse of himself in the mirror. He, a relatively respectable college graduate was kissing a high school girl.

He thinks Ali would be proud.

He leaves soon after with a rushed excuse and can't help but remember those soft brown eyes and inviting lips.

Too bad he'll be seeing her soon - in his classroom.

_xx_.

He doesn't know how this happened.

He's just so comfortable around her that things keep happening, and once it starts, he doesn't want it to stop.

But there's this whole pesky business about being teacher and student, and when she calls him Ezra during the Bad Seed, his heart almost stops.

He's had to change his name once already, twice would be too far.

She never suspects he knew Ali, even when he showed up at her funeral. He supposes Ali really did lie a lot. And he's discovering, so does Aria. That first text, with the letters -A tagged at the end jolts something in his brain, and he's greeted with a memory of Alison, asking him a riddle in her usual mischievous way.

_xx._

"There's a girl on a porch in front of her house. It's Halloween, and her porch is a mess. The pumpkin's smashed, and there's a threatening note on top signed by Anonymous. Who is it?" Alison scoots closer to him on the couch, and for once, he doesn't move away.

_xx._

He thinks of her, and he gets angry. Instead of being calm and understanding, he knows this person, this Anonymous, killed Alison and he's more determined than ever.

He'll find her killer. And he knows just where to get information.

It's almost easy, getting little details of Ali, Spencer, Hanna, and Emily. Aria mentions the day of Ali's disappearance once, and adds more details when he looks interested, not even having to ask. It's these things he thinks back on with regret, and it's all he can do not to stop completely when Aria cuddles into him and they talk about books. But this, it's for her too, because this person, this anonymous, is still out there, and it's dangerous. And, if he's out of a job by the end of all of this (because his relationship with her has to catch up to them sometimes, doesn't it?), at least he'll have the answers.

It's all he's really wanted.

_xx._

"Maybe the smart best friend she's always at odds with?" She asks, smiling. As if it has nothing to do with her, like it's just a game and they're all pawns she's toying with. As if she isn't broken.

_xx._

He thinks of her and he feels guilty. And his resolve hardens.

Ezra doesn't think that renting out a room and plastering photos, leads and suspects and people who may be in the know about A, on it is creepy. And maybe that's his problem. He's ranting to a person that doesn't exist and trying to rescue someone that's already dead and he thinks that maybe he's insane. And he's okay with that if it means that Aria, this fragile girl he'd do anything for, was safe. Because really, he'd choose her over Maggie any day. It's just Malcolm, his fake son, who got in the way.

And he's gone now, so it's just him.

_xx._

"The girl she accidentally hurt?" Ali muses, and Ezra wonders exactly how much of an accident it was. He later finds out, not much of one.

_xx._

He finds her weak points. Manipulates her. But in the end, he's always trailing after her. Heck, he even tells her parents they were dating, risking a stay in jail, for a girl he still claims is meaningless to him. He does it to cement her trust in him, he tells himself. But trust can be broken more easily than a pinky promise on a summer night in an old car. So he stays silent and searches for the killer who just may be after his wife to-be.

There are decoys, convincing people with appalling secrets, that sometimes he thinks he was better off not knowing. He laughs at the irony of it, because he has more than one of those himself, and his are worse than most. Finding out Toby was on the A Team to protect Spencer was a laugh compared to what the fallout would be if his were exposed. He doesn't get A messages, though, which confuses him, because he knows more than he should. More than most, maybe even Alison. And that may just be why A doesn't, he muses, wishing briefly he could ask Aria about it as he gets a text from her. But he shrugs it off, declining her dinner offer to keep working. There had to be something he was missing.

_xx._

"The one who just wanted to be her friend?" Ali scrunches her nose with distaste. He never has the chance to find out whether it's because of Mona in general or the thought that she's been threatened by a nobody, in her eyes.

_xx._

He should have known. Mona. They'd had an arrangement, once upon a time, and he'd said some things. Told her secrets he really shouldn't have. Helped her, maybe, with her goals thinking she was contributing to his.

Now he's trapped between a rock and a hard place, and the only option he has os to climb up over them. He does, and it isn't pretty. So many were dead, maimed, psychologically unrecognizable. He thinks Spencer has had a breakdown a month. Hanna's flailing, and Emily's mad. Oh, and her house is kind of broken.

And Aria? She's right where he wants her. In his cabin.

In the morning he pretends he didn't sneak out to check on them, his precious little dolls.

She likes to pretend too, he decides, when she tries to believe him when he makes his excuses. Just like she pretends that the thousands of dollars she found was money from his car, and how Noel Kahn is framed for stealing test answers right after he finds out about them.

He wonders if Ali still does. Lie, and pretend, and make up stories. Now that he thinks about it, her and Aria are more alike than some think.

_xx._

"Or her jealous brother?" Alison whispers into his ear, like a ghost, a sudden change from the playful attitude from before. "Or sister?" She continues, and Ezra gets a bad feeling in his stomach when he sees how scared she looks.

After another second, it's like a switch is flicked, and she's back to normal and he's more and more curious about this damaged girl.

_xx._

The pieces click into place. One snap and it's over. He knows who it is. His book finally has an ending, but he's lost what made him write it in the first place. His eyes burn red as he places flowers by her grave. Roses, her favorite, he remembers.

"They're so romantic. Timeless. Like Romeo and Juliet. They tell the story of two people who have all the odds against them. Determined to be together, but die at the hand of each other. Isn't it just so exciting?" Her eyes sparkle, and he wants them to stay that way, so he nods. Nods at her inane ramblings, and smiles.

He remembers wishing she liked daisies instead.


End file.
